HOWDY FOLKS! It’s-a me, YAFONOOB! Have you ever wondered if you’re actually playing against a real person in Call of Duty, or are you playing against a COD bot?

I swear, half the time I’m dropping into a match, I can’t tell if I’m facing a 12-year-old squeaker or a toaster with good aim. LOL. This is by no means a definitive list, however here the Top 10 Ways to Tell If You’re Playing Against a COD Bot.

1. They Move Like a Shopping Cart

If your opponent’s movement looks like someone trying to parallel park with their controller upside down, congratulations, you’ve got yourself a bot. They’ll spin weirdly, run into walls, or stand perfectly still like they’re reading the fine print on a vending machine.

2. Their Aim Is Weirdly Consistent

Real players mess up. Bots? They don’t flinch. Ever. They’ll track you like an aimbot running on caffeine and code. Too perfect? Bot. Too sloppy and consistent? Also bot. Yeah, I don’t make the rules.

3. The Fashion Sense Is Nonexistent

If everyone else in the lobby is rocking custom skins and this one dude looks like he spawned straight from 2014 basic training, don’t ignore that gut feeling. Bots don’t care about cosmetics. Camouflage weapons and neon yellow pants? lol Bots have zero drip.

4. They Ignore Loot

You ever watch someone run past ammo or a legendary gun or a care package enen thogh they only have an MP4? That’s not minimalism… that’s a bot.

5. They Never Trash Talk

If your kill feed is silent after you snipe someone from across the map, and nobody calls you “lucky,” “trash,” or worse… you might not be fighting humans. Real players get salty. Bots? They just respawn in silence. Curious about what will happen when bots are actually AI? Check out my article: “What happens when AI learns to play our favorite games better than us?“

6. They Take the Long Way Around

Bots navigate like a GPS  in an underground tunnel. While you’re sprinting straight to the action, they’re taking a scenic detour through three buildings, jump over a fence, run up then down a mountain and finally through a farmhouse before showing up late to die.

7. They Have Repetitive, Bland or Nonsense Names

If you see a COD name like “soldier_4823” or “CoDgAmEr34” all in lowercase letters, or some ridiculous version of up & down case, yeah, that’s probably a bot. Also look for bots who share repetitive, similar sounding names, like these most popular bots PlasticFoods and antCABBAGE. Pretty much any name with plastic or cabbage is going to be a bot, or a troll, lol. Real gamers usually have creative (and sometimes questionable) usernames.

8. They Throw, Drop and Spray

Ever notice some players just throw a grenade at you while you’re full auto showering them with bullets? Or they do the combo “throw, drop, spray and pray” without actually hitting anyone? I’ve literally walked left and right repeatedly while a bot was laying on the floor in front of me, unable to hit me once! I was laughing and finally walked away, embarrassed for him. Here’s a thought I should try and test out, I do not think Call of Duty Mobile Bots can ever run out of ammo, or at least I’ve never seen it. I wonder how I could test this theory?

9. They Ignore Objectives Completely

If it’s Domination and your teammate hasn’t even glanced at a flag, they’re either a total noob or a bot programmed for to be target meat.  Either way, you’re soloing this one, Tex.

10. They Don’t React to Insanity

You can blow up three trucks, call in the Attack Dogs and they’ll just keep jogging in a straight line. Real players would’ve freaked out or at least looked up or around. And if you drop a care package? Yeah, they will never run towards it, they just don’t care.

That Time I Met the “Best Player in the World” (LOL)

So here’s a story about a gamer who is actually the inspiration behind this article. I was watching a live stream a few weeks ago, She had just one viewer (me) and she was absolutely dominating her matches. She had like 25 kills while everyone else had maybe three. She literally screamed “YOU CAN ALL SUCK IT, I’M THE BEST IN THE WORLD!!!!” and I just didn’t have the heart to tell her. Yeah… those were bots. LOL. We’ve all been there though, no shame in it!

Do You Like or Hate Playing Against Bots?

So, do YOU playing against bots? Some players hate it because it feels fake and too easy. But others actually enjoy it, less stress, smoother gameplay, and a nice ego boost after getting stomped by real players all week. I mean, sometimes we all need to feel like a legend for a few minutes, right?

Bots can also be great for practice. You can experiment with weapons, strategies, or settings without risking your K/D ratio. Sure, it’s not the same adrenaline rush, but it can still be fun, especially when you’re chilling.

What are your thoughts about playing against bots in Call of Duty? Have you ever been fooled by one, or worse, bragged about a bot wipe before realizing it? LOL, be honest. Drop your thoughts in the comments, and while you’re at it, send me ideas for the next YAFONOOB article or any gaming question you want answered.

Keep kicking those bot butts!

Looking for a List of Call of Duty Bot Names?

Hilarious Video: YAFONOOB has to be a turkey for Thanksgiving!